1. Here is the White House as depicted in the movie “Idiocracy” (2006).

2. Here is the White House, literally today.

Do you see where this is headed? LOL

Hang on! I have one more for you…

3. This is what he wants it to look like when it’s done.

Yeah. Now, scroll back up to the first image. LMAO!

We are officially living the movie, “Idiocracy.” It is now literal. Somebody call Mike Judge; they stole his film.

Why are women’s incontinence products called “pads” while men’s are called “guards?” What exactly are they guarding?

… Do the underpants need protection from the male peepee? Is that it?

… Or perhaps are men just too manly to wear the “pads?” Is it a macho thing?

Well, you know, this goes two ways. If the men get guards, I think the women should get… comfort.

Yes, from here on out, women’s incontinence and menstrual products should be called: “vajayjay comfort pillows.” With the comfort rating adjusted to thickness a.k.a. heaviness of flow.

‘Cause women got it rough, I know you’ve had a long effin’ day. Women need something soft to sit on! Comfort pillows.

Stuff that in your peepee guards, you sexist marketing departments. 🖕

Oregon Protests:

🐸🪧 🚫 🧊

🟧🗣️🚫🐸

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🪧 🚫 🧊

Michigan Protests:

🧊 🧊 🧊 🚫 🟤

🧊 🔫 👨‍⚕️ 🪦

🧊 🔫 👩 🪦

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🪧 🚫 🧊

No Kings Protests:

🟧 🗣️ 🚫 📰

🟧 🗣️ 🚫 📖

🟧 🗣️ 🚫 🛒

🟧 🗣️ 🚫 🇺🇸

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 🪧 🚫 🟧 🗣️

The reason we’re in Iran is ‘cause

A little kid bit his weenie,

A little kid bit his weenie,

A little kid bit his weenie.

This season we bomb Iran because

A little kid bit his weenie.



[Instrumental Break]



The reason we can’t buy gas is ‘cause

A little kid bit his weenie,

A little kid bit his weenie,

A little kid bit his weenie.

They’re squeezin’ the price of gas because

A little kid bit his weenie.


[Guitar Bridge]


The reason we bombed a school is ‘cause

A little kid bit his weenie,

A little kid bit his weenie,

A little kid bit his weenie.

The treason-in-charge hates kids because

A little kid bit his weenie.

(What a meanie!)

Subscribe now

This is a parody. A joke. However, if it brought your attention to the insanity that is our modern society… good!

Music created with assistance of Suno, AI tool.
This article and lyrics are 100% human-written.
©2026 Wyvern Dryke - All Rights Reserved.

Well, damn.

So. Let’s be straight: this image is completely not Pete Hegseth.

It is Huttseth, King of Misogynia, from the Galaxy Drünk’nfokkwitt.

All Hail Huttseth!

Subscribe now

What can I do? I tried talking to customer service. I tried talking to the store manager. They won’t fix it. And they won’t redeliver. They say I have to reorder the groceries and wait for a (usually very slow) refund. Well, that’s spending the same money twice, when dollars are already tight.

Nope, you know what? I’m done.

My response: here’s a ridiculous song to mock their utter incompetence. Now we can laugh about it.

Take that, Walmart!

“Where’s My Cookies” (The Walmart Grift Rhythm)

[Verse 1]
Ordered snacks online,
Now I'm feelin' kind of proud.
Bought all my groceries,
Now don't gotta face the crowds.
The doorbell rings
Like it's Christmas day.
Open up the box
…What the heck, it's hairspray??

[Pre-Chorus]
Who’s out there
Stealin' all my snacks?
Feasting on my fare,
Now I gotta face the facts.
Walmart never
Gets my order straight.
Takes forever
Ships the wrong damn freight.

[Chorus]
Walmart, dude,
Why you play me like that?
I said "dinners"
You sent "diapers" super-pack.
Someone’s kid gets my pizza tonight
And I’m stuck eatin' flippin' beans nobody likes.
Walmart, dude,
How you mess it this bad?
Some other family got my groceries in their bag.
I don’t need diapers
They don’t need my treats
Your effin' game
Is so effin' weak!

[Verse 2]
Receipt says “great.”
Reality says “nope!”
I got kitty litter, bro. No cat.
Where's my soap?
A stranger’s cookin' tacos
With my lettuce and cheese.
I’m scrolling through support
Typing “help me, help me, please!"

[Pre-Chorus]
Who’s sittin' back
With my chill ice tea?
Livin' on my snacks,
Livin' up rent-free?
It's a grift; pay the price,
Cause you gotta get it done.
You gotta buy it twice,
Ask for a refund.

[Chorus]
Walmart, dude,
Why you play me like that?
I said "dinners"
You sent "diapers" super-pack
Someone’s kid gets my pizza tonight
And I’m stuck eatin' flippin' beans nobody likes.
Walmart, dude,
How you mess it this bad?
Some other family got my groceries in their bag.
I don’t need diapers
They don’t need my treats
Your effin' game
Is so effin' weak!

[Bridge]
Driver at my door like,
“Sign right here.”
I’m holding up a toothbrush
And holding back tears.
“Whose life is this?
I just can't say!
Where my chewy cookies?
Did you give 'em away?"

[Chorus]
Walmart, dude,
Why you play me like that?
I said "dinners"
You sent "diapers" super-pack
Someone’s kid gets my pizza tonight
And I’m stuck eatin' flippin' beans nobody likes.
Walmart, dude,
How you mess it this bad?
Some other family got my groceries in their bag.
I don’t need diapers
They don’t need my treats
Your effin' game
Is so effin' weak!

What the F, Walmart,
Can I just please get
What I clicked this week?

(c)2026 Wyvern Dryke - All Rights Reserved

Subscribe now

I made this into a catchy dance tune with the help of Suno, an AI tool. Link:
https://suno.com/s/CoZmFkofhQDuIUXe 🎶🛍️

Dedicated, with love and respect, to John Flansburgh and John Linnell of They Might Be Giants. May their music live forever in the annals of nerdology!

"Covalent Games"
by Wyvern Dryke

[Verse 1]
I see you dancing there in heat,
Cagey cation, what's your plot?
Well I need eight to feel complete,
And you have force to fill my slot!

Your rising power, let me see.
If I touch it will you move?
Heisenberg Uncertainty--
Slip inside my hidden groove! (hey!)

[Chorus]
Covalent games
Ionic flames
Bonding deep in a psi-squared probability.
Covalent games
Two-letter names
Sharing all with negative positivity.

[Verse 2]
Electrons in excited state,
Protons in attractive spin.
The two of us can both relate
Our common needs; I pull you in!

And now I am sincerely hoping
We can balance our equation.
In valence I have two slots open.
Let's do double penetration! (hey!)


[Chorus]
Covalent games
Ionic flames
Bonding deep in a psi-squared probability.
Covalent games
Two-letter names
Sharing all with negative positivity.


[Bridge]
Attraction builds,
The bond awaits.
Magnetic thrills,
Excited states.
You seek my shell
Fully enlarged.
I seek my fill,
And you discharge!


[Chorus]
Covalent games
Ionic flames
Bonding deep in a psi-squared probability.
Covalent games
Two-letter names
Sharing all with negative positivity.

Covalent games
Ionic flames
Bonding deep in a psi-squared probability.
Covalent games
Two-letter names
Sharing all with positive negativity.

Subscribe now

P.S. - I plugged my lyrics into an A.I. generator called Suno to convert it into song. Enjoy!

“Covalent Games” - lyrics by Wyvern Dryke

©2026 Wyvern Dryke - All Rights Reserved.
This post is 100% human-written.

Adult Funtimes Translated to Code.

def adulty_times(partner):

    try:

        print(f”{partner}, baby, you look so hot tonight!”)

        import sexy_lines.json

        arousal+=5

    except ImportError:

        print(”Do you come here often?”)

    except NameError:

        print(”I swear this has never happened before...”)

    else:

        print(f”My hard drive is ready for you, {partner}!”)

    finally:

        print(f”That was great, {partner}. Zzzz....”)

Rough translation to English:

(First, you load the definition with a name, for example, “Jill.”)

First try saying, “Jill, baby, you look so hot tonight!”)
Then pull up a file of sexy lines to say.
Then get more aroused.

If you can’t find the lines, fall back on a horrible one: “Do you come here often?”

If the arousal isn’t found, give a lame excuse: “I swear this has never happened before…”

But if all goes well, say: “My hard drive is ready for you, Jill!”

When you’re done, say: “That was great, Jill. Zzz….” (Fall asleep.)

Subscribe now

This post was 100% human written. And 100% nerd-approved. Enjoy! <3

©️2026 Wyvern Dryke - All Rights Reserved.

To make things worse, you live in a country that the entire world thinks is Satan. Yeah, we’ve all been there. I know.

Don’t worry! I got this. Here are some useful phrases you can use.

English

I’m sorry my government is stupid. Could you please help me?

Chinese

我很遺憾我的政府如此愚蠢。您能幫幫我嗎？
Wǒ hěn yíhàn wǒ de zhèngfǔ rúcǐ yúchǔn. Nín néng bāng bāng wǒ ma?

Spanish

Lamento que mi gobierno sea estúpido. ¿Podrías ayudarme por favor?

Arabic

أنا آسف لأن حكومتي غبية. هل يمكنك مساعدتي من فضلك؟
‘Ana asf li’ana hukumati ghabiatan. hal yumkinuk musaeadati min fadlika?

Malay

Maafkan saya kerana kerajaan saya bodoh. Bolehkah anda membantu saya?

Portuguese (BR) ← from Brazil

Desculpe, meu governo é estúpido. Você poderia me ajudar, por favor?

French

Je suis désolé que mon gouvernement soit stupide. Pourriez-vous m’aider, s’il vous plaît ?

Japanese

私の政府が愚かで申し訳ありません。どうか助けていただけませんか？
Watashi no seifu ga orokade mōshiwake arimasen. Dō ka tasukete itadakemasen ka?

Russian

Мне жаль, что мое правительство такое глупое. Не могли бы вы мне помочь?
Mne zhal’, chto moye pravitel’stvo takoye glupoye. Ne mogli by vy mne pomoch’?

German

Es tut mir leid, dass meine Regierung dumm ist. Könnten Sie mir bitte helfen?

Latin (just in case you time-travel)

Doleo quod regimen meum stultum est. Potesne mihi auxilium ferre?

According to (some random translation site, which spams with popup ads) the 10 top-used languages on the internet are: English, Chinese, Spanish, Arabic, Malay, Portuguese, French, Japanese, Russian, and German. So those are covered above. If you’d like to add more, please do so! :D

This entry is human-generated content, with the help of AI translators. I don’t speak Arabic or Malay, and my Russian and Mandarin are weak. So if these are wrong, please feel free to correct them in the comments! Thank you. :)

Subscribe now

Somewhere, Schrödinger is scratching his head.

Subscribe now

Rough Translation to English:

When there is no milk,

Try going to store (specifically the 7-11 store).

If you have an error (an anxiety attack) take note of it.

When you get to the store, search for milk in the store’s contents (ie, shelves).

If you find it - great! You’re done.

If not, shout there is no milk!

Then you’re done.

🦊

PS. - This entry is 100% human-written. But I did run it through a lint to make sure it parsed correctly. :P

Convenience Store in Code

Subscribe now

©2026 Wyvern Dryke - All Rights Reserved.
Do not “borrow”, do not scrape for AI. I bite.

SHIT. In multiple languages.

Because why not. Screw it. Everyone should be multilingual… and face it, if I were to list “dog” or “pencil,” no one would remember a bit.

So SHIT.

• shit /shit/ - English

• Scheiße (Sheisse) /SHY-suh/ - German

• merde /MAIRD/ - French

• mierda /mee-AIR-duh/ - Spanish

• cacas /KAH-kuhs/ - Latin

• σκατά (skata) /SKAH-tah/ - modern Greek

• σκῶρ (skor) /skor/ -or- σκατος (skatos) /SKAH-tohs/ - Ancient Greek

• shed /shed/ - Ancient Sumerian

Please feel free to add corrections and additions in the comments. :)

P.S. - This entry is 100% human-written. If you want more languages, I must involve AI. :-P

That is the question.

Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind

To hobble to the potty at 4am,

Or dither in the happenstance of

Snoring nonproduction.

Verily. Verily so!

Subscribe now

©2026 Wyvern Dryke - All Rights Reserved.
Do not “borrow,” do not scrape for AI. I bite.

I might use naughty words. I might use big words. I might use made-up words, like “snax” (snacks). But this is my place, so I can. You are warmly invited to join in!

The rest of this template is bullshit.

I’m not going to tell you why I’m “launching this;” I just want to.

Everyone is welcome*

*But don’t be an asshole. That’s my job. You can speak your opinions; that’s perfectly fine. But respect me, and respect each other. Personal attacks will get you bitten and booted.

Political Views

…Suck. They suck because they are divisive. Don’t sling them here; I really don’t care what party you support or what you think about my views.

For the record, I am an undeclared Moderate, and always will be.

Furthermore… Trump is a dipshit. Not for political party reasons, but because he does unconscionable things like violate the U.S. Constitution and our basic human rights—all while sneering about it like Severus Snape on molly. So got that? Fine. Now we’re clear.

Here’s a random picture.

Subscribe or This Guy Will Scare Your Grandma.

Subscribe now

Many Topics

I will discuss whatever is on my mind in here. That will encompass many topics: fiction, AI, writing, coding, history, politics, society, foxes, and much more.

Enjoy!

©2026 Wyvern Dryke - All Rights Reserved.
Do not “borrow,” do not scrape for AI. I bite.